longeaux:

villagevoice:

SOME EXAMPLES OF HOW YOU CAN FIND A HURRICANE BOYFRIEND:

1. Go to the grocery store. You need to do this anyway because all you have is one bottle of pink wine and some Sriracha peas, and you’ve gotten to the part of the can where the weird preservative packet that you’re not supposed to eat lives and that makes you wonder if you should eat the peas, either. While you’re at the store, take note a handsome fellow with a lot of tomatoes in his grocery cart (make sure he has a real cart, not one of those little baskets — more manly) and ask him what he’s planning to make with all those tomatoes. If he says anything stewed, move along, and find a guy with a large bottle of Sriracha. Do not go for the guy with the 24 pack of toilet paper and the 48 bottles of Poland Spring. He is mine.

2. All along, you have been passing on guys who live smack dab in the middle of Queens because of their geographical “undesirability.” All that changes now! Go to the middle of Queens. Go now, before the subways stop running. Bring your go-bag, complete with its latex gloves and tweezers. Never have you been more prepared for the middle of Queens. Go! 

3. If all else fails, stay at home and watch Animal Planet until the power goes out, then text anyone who lives marginally nearby but not in a evacuation zone and ask them nicely to come over and make out with you, and to bring whatever booze they have on hand, too. It’s only gentlemanly. 

I’m incredibly sick of hearing about this storm.

wake me up on monday when its over and we’re all still here and liveblogging the whole thing

1. andgiraffestoo liked this
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3. indiemaiden reblogged this from villagevoice and added:

   Village Voice. I was looking for an article like this.

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12. polyrhythmatic reblogged this from villagevoice and added:

    DOES THIS APPLY TO OLD KENYON PARTIES

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16. hereandmou reblogged this from villagevoice and added:

    New York right now just so I have an excuse...hurricane boyfriend. I wonder if I could try...

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23. ashotinthearm reblogged this from villagevoice and added:

    Why didn’t I think

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27. craneyourneck reblogged this from amcorm and added:

    Awesome things to look forward to this weekend. I’m not even kidding.

28. shlau liked this
29. rebecca-c reblogged this from villagevoice and added:

    The Village Voice...officially my favorite Tumblr

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34. amcorm reblogged this from villagevoice and added:

    afternoon for a HURRIWEEKEND...Upper West Side, which I’m

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40. executiveproducerdickwolf reblogged this from longeaux and added:

    wake me up on monday when its over and we’re all still here and liveblogging the whole thing

41. longeaux reblogged this from villagevoice and added:

    I’m incredibly sick...hearing about this storm.

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